![]() Just make sure you follow best hygiene practices when you experiment. Once I started thinking about my strap-on as ‘my cock,’ we got more and more ideas of how to play with it.” “It felt silly at first but it turned out to be really hot. “I love getting ‘blow jobs’ from my husband,” Melissa R., 28, tells SELF. Penetration is a large draw of strap-ons, if not often the main one, but there are other erotic ways to use them. “Roll your hips and grind that strap.” 9. “Speaking as a bi woman, I can say people of all genders forget that penetration doesn’t just have to be going in and out and pounding away,” says Spencer. Also it was basically masturbating, so win-win.” “It helped me get in the zone and figure out the different ways I can roll my hips. “I’m not embarrassed to admit that I humped some pillows early in my strap-on days,” says Lily. Hey, we’re not going to judge you if you want to finesse your strap skills with a little training (just like we definitely won’t judge if it takes a while to find your rhythm). ![]() “If something feels uncomfortable, say something,” says Finn. “Finding what feels good and feels natural always takes some experimenting.” “Your partner can always ride you if you’re having trouble maneuvering your strap,” Lily A., 22, tells SELF. Stick with basic positions that feel comfortable and leave you room to adjust the strap-on with your hands if necessary, like on all fours, missionary, or standing beside the bed while your partner lies on its edge. Your first few tries using a strap-on aren’t going to be the time to get super wild when it comes to sex positions. “A strap can be less easy for the top to control than a flesh cock, so if something isn’t working, don’t be afraid use your hands to adjust the toy so it’s hitting properly,” Lisa Finn, a sex educator and brand manager for Babeland, tells SELF. Sure, one draw of using a strap-on can be that it allows for intimate, hands-free activity, but that doesn’t mean the toy will always do what you want it to. Which is why amateur porn is the way to go-real sexual partners are far more likely to have actionable takeaways than professional performers who may have techniques that look good but aren’t actually enjoyable. You might pick up on little techniques, see ways people get creative, and generally demystify the whole ordeal. If you’ve never used a strap-on before (or even if you have), it’s incredibly useful to see them in action. “Especially amateur videos,” Maggie L., 31, suggests to SELF. The more comfortable you are with it on your own, the easier it will be to use it with a partner.” 3. “Wear your harness around the house as you do non-sexual activities, such as washing dishes or watching TV. “It’s going to feel weird at first,” Ashley Cobb, founder and host of Sex With Ashley and sex toy reviewer, tells SELF. You should give yourself time to get familiar with what it’s like to wear a harness. ![]() It really helps if the first time you wear your strap-on isn’t during sex. Wear the strap-on around before using it. Beyond that, there are a few important things to know about safety and partner communication before using a strap-on together, and you can find those pre-sex tips here. And no matter how you plan to use your strap-on, lube is always a good idea (just make sure it’s compatible with your dildo of choice-silicone lube degrades silicone toys, and oil-based lube can damage latex condoms, so water-based lube is likely a safe bet). This guide outlines some of the things to look for when buying a strap-on and includes product recommendations.Īlso, if you’re using a strap-on to experiment with anal play for the first time, there are ways you should prepare, which you can read about here. Which strap-on you use can make or break your experience, both from a comfort standpoint and from how easy it is to use. First things first, you want to make sure you have the right equipment. There are a few boxes you want to check before you dive into strap-on sex. Here are a few to keep in mind when you don your harness: 1. To help you feel more confident trying strap-on sex and upping your strap game, I asked sex toy experts and strap-on enthusiasts alike how to use a strap-on. With practice, communication, and the right equipment, you can soon be thrusting and grinding like a pro. Luckily, a learning curve is completely normal when it comes to using a strap-on. The first time I used a strap-on with a partner, I was so self-conscious about my awkward technique that I didn’t try again for like a year. Having sex with toys often isn’t as intuitive as using your own body, and a free-flying appendage where you’re not used to having one can feel especially unwieldy. If you’re curious about strap-on sex, you might be nervous too-not because you think it’d be bad, but because you don’t know how to use a strap-on.
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